Reading (and only being able to endorse) all the obituaries, tributes and memories of Mark Fisher got me thinking about my own relationship with his ideas, prophecies, notions, arguments, all at once random and linked, disparate and dissonant, pointing out connectivity where ties seemed absurd, nothing was beyond critical dissembling/reassembling and destruction/reconstruction.

Scratch the surface then keep digging, nothing is ever as it seems, nothing is impenetrable, depth exists in anything and everything, make it what you want it to be. Who’s to say otherwise?

Like many others I discovered his K-Punk blog via Simon Reynolds’s Blissblog (http://blissout.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/rip-mark-fisher_14.html another important avenue for me for abstract thinking and a profound desire to constantly dig and probe) and always found it (in no particular order):

challenging, confronting, opaque, oblique, dense, enlightening, informative, provocative, educational, inspiring, conspiring, connected, disconnected, amusing, emotional, prescient, foreboding, interesting, arresting. And more.

As David Stubbs says http://thequietus.com/articles/21572-mark-fisher-rip-obituary-interview

‘Mark’s own music journalism, which ventured further into the depths of theory and perception than I could ever hope to reach. I can’t be the only fellow writer who emerged from his essays feeling educated and energised but also like a bit of a banal lunk by comparison.’

For me reading Mark’s work most of the time left me feeling dazed and confused, in a state of shock that took ages to abide and even longer for his musings to be processed (if ever at all), but thinking about it deeply the past week I have concluded that it isn’t about understanding and being able to recite or repeat or regurgitate it is more that the actual digesting and absorption alters me on levels I never knew existed and in ways I will never fathom, feel it don’t fight it, always for the positive.

It is this positivity (in spite of his own struggles and the overall ‘state of things’) I will miss from his writing.

‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’ seems apt.