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Dead roses

So, they’ve done it, they’ve confounded the haters, the critics, the cynics, the disbelievers, the heretics, Drozes have ‘produced’ a new song. In a prank worthy of the Situationists (‘paving stones under the beach …lemons … corpses in their mouths’) the professional Mancsters have raided their ‘catalogue’ of demos and Mr Sheened it up, the result?

The socialamediasphere went into meltdown, the anticipation tangible, 22 years they’ve been waiting for this, in that time other copycat bands with their cloned poses have stolen a march, the Drozes’ return in 2013 serving only to remind the planet that for all the pretenders these are the main men, the doyens, the godheads, the Drozes, maaan.

The disciples got their tackles in first, if they were honest to themselves they were anticipating a dreary release and the expected laughter, however, defiant, they went on the attack, fearful of the truth yet determined to make sure that those who cannot and do not see, must be called out and vilified. The ever irascible and forever on the money (when it comes to such matters) Luke Haines flushing the hordes out of their narcoleptic passivity with this depth charge:


And then quite rightly pointing out that the ‘that riff, maan, that’s Squire at his optimum, yeah?!’ is exactly the same as:

Twenty two years, perpetual wars, global corruption, James Corden, the demise of alternative culture and the continuing triviality of ‘indie’ music and sensei Ian Brown musters these pearls:

‘All for one, one for all, if we all join hands, we’ll make a wall.
‘All for one, one for all, if we take a stand we shall not fall’

The end result a cross between an imaginary 1980s sitcom theme tune about a phalanx of cheeky happy-go-lucky freewheeling dossing rapscallions beating the Man every week starring Keith Jayne and Janet Dibley.

And this


Browny, Mani, Reni, Johnny and Mousey face the press this morning

Assorted Press: ‘Oi, lads, what do you say to the assertion that this is a lazy attempt at mollifying your fanbase, are you laughing at them or with them?’
Drozes: ‘Ya know, it’s ‘all for one, one for all’ if it was good enough for the Muskahounds then … get me? Look, all I can say is that we’ve got some big gigs coming up, the Third (or is it fourth?) coming, we’ll play the karaoke jukebox and there’ll be loadsa merch to purchase. We done here? Peace off, yeah!’

*puff of smoke*

When you give the people what they want, they always want more. You can’t put your arms around a memory as someone sagely muttered.

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? Laughing all the way to …

Stop the world, I’m getting off
I’m getting off
Can’t get enough
I’m getting off


Rhymesmith and craponteur Banal Gallagher reacts and takes mental notes