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‘I own four (4) cars that cost more than all your poxy incomes put together, yeah?’

Treading where IS(is) fear to tread for fear of the apocalypse here’s professional phoney petrol-whore, Reithian defier and guaranteed deliverer of insincerity and junk, arse-licker extraordinaire Chris ‘I’m a Ginger, ya know?!’ Evans:

‘I knew there was a reason when I was seven years of age why I needed to be on the radio and this is it’

Followed by 12 of the most dispiriting words known to man.(c.f. ‘Noel’s getting Oasis back together’ and ‘Your cancer’s returned … only this time it’s terminal’)

‘Our Christmas present to you this Friday is Coldplay in the studio.’

‘Come, come nuclear bomb’ indeed.


Noel, Liam and manager, Russell Grant, celebrate the impending reunion’