Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

pg

‘It’s the taste’

http://www.gigslutz.co.uk/best-of-youtube-james-bond-themes/

To commiserate the ersatz Antony Hegarty, the colourlessness Sam Smith, bagging the Bond theme for the next franchise installment (c) here’s one that almost made the cut and one that is an anomaly in the canon.

The man with the Golden Gun – Alice Cooper

Glam-dram, schlock-rock scourge of Mary Whitehouse Alice Cooper (still the band name at this point) claim to have been approached by the Bonderarchy to soundtrack film number nine. The film starred Roger Moore in his second outing, Christopher Lee as tri-nippled island-dwelling villain Scaramanga and Britpop’s Noel Gallagher as pint-size-sidekick Nick-Nack.

Lyrically it’s a literal summary of the film’s title and baddie, but the music contains all the mystery and intrigue required for a Bond ditty, on 1.20 the song descends into an aural equivalent of the hall of mirrors scene culminating in a death-knelling gong.

The rockers subsequently lost out to Scotch-shrieker Lulu’s take, John Barry producing a pale imitation of Shirley Bassey’s two earlier efforts with all-too-familiar Bond tropes from earlier themes tacked on. Cooper’s song instead featuring on the band’s 1973 LP Muscle of Love

forbiddenzone4

Britpop King Banal Gallagher refusing to clap Ed Sheeran at the Brits (c) Viva la causa!

Never say never again – Michael Legrand and Lani Hall

The theme for a needless remake fraught with difficulties from the onset. What could possibly go wrong?

In 1983 52 year old $$$ean Connery (and requisite toupee) was tempted back by a co-writer on the 1961 novel Thunderball to remake said 1965 film in opposition with the Broccoli backed Octopussy. Starring Moore alongside Kim Basinger and ‘funny-mime-man’ Mr Bean in a speaking role as ‘Nigel Small-Fawcett’ *guffaw*

The theme music, written by renowned composer Michel (uncle of Beach House’s Victoria) Legrand and sung by Lani Hall (a singer with Sergio Mendes and Brazil 66 and wife of Herb ‘Tijuana Brass’ Albert who herself replaced Phyllis Hyman in another dispute) is a typical torpid 80s cocktail infused aria that only serves to illustrate the folly this production was. The result a half-baked piss-take of myriad earlier themes.

Speaking of which step forward the fake ‘n’ hot turd Sam Smith, licenced to kill the mood. Double-oh-no …

Advertisements