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…am so very sickened.

evans

Rocky Dennis:’Lemme tell ya how much MONEY I’ve got and CARS and PROPERTY’

When Karl Marx wrote ‘History repeats itself first as tragedy, second as farce’ he probably had uber-phoney Chris Evans and TFI Friday in mind (12th June 2015 AD, Nostradamus never missed a trick with his apocalyptic visions), although I’d imagine he’d (post-spewing) would have added ‘thirdly as mind-numbingly turgid brain poison’

Fronted by tit(ular) junk-culture advocate Chris Evans he was as ill-informed as ever, numerous inaccuracies (names and facts), over 20 years since he hijacked pop(ular) culture to assist his rise to the top of the ladder of inanity. His insistence of his role in ‘those crazy times’ reassure us of his position of (an)other monkey to Blair’s organ-grinding antics.

This time he’s pleading (via predictive programming) that if enough people ‘like’ its return (just ‘click your favour) then who knows, Channel 4, boundary-pushers of yore, intellect-crushers now, might just bring it back. Step forward anointed one, Nick ‘Grimmy’ Grimmy. Nothing speaks of quality, irreverence and outre’ like Grimmy.

Reappearing 19 years after it’s inception yet called a 20 year anniversary due to a ‘clerical error’, how very archaic (there’s that memory-hole again), it was the same staged, faked, rehearsed, obsequious workshop-scripted anarchy, which made Tiswas look like Paris and Czechoslovakia in 1968.

Guests included dull-bots (Lewis Hamilton,) boors (Clarkson, ‘So, Jezza, cars, yeah, aren’t they brilliant, yeah, did you know I’ve got millions worth in my garage, yeah …) wares-whores, bantz-bores (yes, you Grimmy) and tedious features ‘Ooh look, someone breathing in AND out’, how very startling and nourishing.

Who hadn’t missed the amassed acolytes and sad-sacks screaming the side-splitting ‘Wiiiieeeel’ at the producer. It brought back the feeling of being spell-bound, the retro-times, the simulacred 60s in 90s, ‘New’ Labour and their head-rush of ersatz change, heady hedonism, drugged and duped, seduced and reduced by media and excess.

In a world and epoch of relentless engineered misery, corruption, greed, inequality, injustice,this is a sick contrast and goes a long way to explaining how this country has been ensnared by ‘stuff and shite’. This TFI world is a world without Edward Snowden, ecological disasters, slavery for mobile telephone pieces, natural resource and land-grab, this is a world where questioning and caring are ignored at the expense of ‘fun and bantz and bullshit’.

Slow-punctured anachronism Liam Gallagher appeared solely to remind everyone of his increasing irrelevance (and bit-part in the whole ruse) butchering The Who’s ‘My Generation’, his voice never sounding so cracked, like John Lennon’s at 23.15.01.01 on 8th December 1980. Music for morons on telly for tossers.

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Liam Gallagher (still) struggling to roll with it …’

Then as now it serves a lament to when pop music was all important, a cause, an identity formation not a soundtrack to banality and covert oppression. Is this how progress has been made in 20 years? Are we now trapped in an age of post-retro? Is it at all possible to term it? Maybe ‘post-cultural civilisational-collapse-claptrap’? Nah, too wordy. Hyper-nostalgesia will do.

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